Life is like a kaleidoscope – you never quite know which colour you’re going to get. Cue deep South American accent, a hangdog expression and a buddy named Buba 🙂
But seriously, I’ve been thinking a lot recently (no change there then!) and I feel like depending on the metaphorical glass slide I pick (or in some cases is picked for me) – life and the people in it can appear to be so many different things from one day to the next. Like sometimes you wake up and life is pretty darned perfect and another time you wonder what the hell you’re doing? Or one day you feel like you have the best buddies in the world and the next you wonder where all the good ones went…
So how do you know which colour is real? Which perspective on your life is the ‘right’ one, the truest one? And then linked to that, during which time do you make your biggest life decisions?
Okay, so in case anyone reading this thinks I’ve gone doo-lally (or doier-lallier than usual that is!) or I’ve been at the vino / cough medicine / coffee cupboard, let me try to illustrate my thinking with real life examples (i.e. the colours of my life)…particularly since we all know I just love laying myself out on the line 🙂 So here are my kaleidoscopic perspectives for one and all to see…
I’m a twenty-something singleton in no great hurry to change my life to a life ‘for two’ – I like waking up in the morning not having to think of anyone else and I like having the bed to myself to get a good night’s kip. That said I certainly wouldn’t be averse to sharing the odd night or two with a hottie and if the right person came along I’d be open to it 😉 I’m pretty successful at work – earning a decent wage, working at a brilliant place with freedom to use my creativity when I so wish. I’ve travelled some great places, with some great people but wish I had more friends who were able and willing to travel more with me… I have a great bunch of friends who I give a lot to but who (on the most part) I also get a lot back from – there’s a pretty equal balance with most of them and I love them to bits. I have a brilliant, independent but loving family who I see as frequently as I can without putting myself out too much. I’m generally fit, healthy and a half decent catch but could do with hitting the gym and loving my salad a bit more. All in all I have a good life with great people in it – I could do better but I could do much much worse 🙂
I’m a sassy young twenty something – fiercely independent and single out of pure choice. I’m too busy being successful and doing the things I want to do to bother with men, marriage, babies etc. I’m not bad looking and I can work the curves to great effect…I’ll hit the gym to tone up but all in all I like my curvaceous figure. I don’t even need a man in the bedroom – I can sort that all on my own 🙂 At work I’m doing well for my 27 years and well on my way to climbing the career ladder. I’ve travelled more than many have in their life and I’ll keep doing the same – with or without friends to accompany me. I’m a pretty good daughter and I’ll always stop by on my parents at least once a week and my brothers and sister whenever they’re in Notts or I’m their way. I have loads of friends who love me and I’m ALWAYS there for them – I never let anyone down and try my hardest to help someone in strife. All in all life is brilliant – I’m young, getting fitter by the day in the gym, doing really well at work, getting time with brilliant friends and seeing the world! ROAR – watch out world I’m coming to get ya!
Life is good but I’m craving a life affirming moment, an epiphany when all of a sudden I’ll ‘get’ what life is all about but at the moment something is missing. I’ve had some annoying setbacks in my life so far but they must be a test – something to prepare me for when life really begins. My life isn’t perfect but next year (or the one after that, or the one after that etc) something will happen and I’ll really start living. Everything up until that point will just be a warm up. In my mellow-yellow perspective I can just spend days reading a book, strolling around outside, watching a film / TV…it’s enough to just ‘be’ and not be so concentrated on achieving things all the time.
Blue (da-be-da-ba du…those clubbing in the early 00ies will get that reference!)
Life is so frustrating! Why do I even bother?! Friends don’t appreciate all the efforts I go to (little pressies, trying to arrange get togethers, offering advice etc), work don’t appreciate me, I’ve not done nearly enough travelling and I’m comfort eating and not toning my curves! Aaaaagggh! Why am I wasting my life? When I was young this was not where I saw myself in the late twenties. My love life is a disaster and I keep living vicariously through films and tv shows – where’s my ruddy prince charming and why has the cow down the road got happiness when I haven’t?! My life is a waste and I sometimes wonder who would miss me if I just vanished into thin air! Life shouldn’t be such hard work
Keen for the green
I want to escape and run away to green forests and blue lakes. I want to give up work, home, etc and go live in a log cabin in America where I can write books, have sex all day with an exotic and intriguing guy and own dogs that I can walk on the luscious lake shores. My life here is uninspiring – I need to surround myself in beauty and adventure if I really want to start living. Where can I find that adventure? Hmmm perhaps I’ll book myself a holiday…
So, at the end of those little insights now you think I truly am whacky right? Well I don’t care – I’m having me a rose-tinted moment 🙂
I suppose the point of all of this is to muse on how you ever know which is the ‘real’ you and the truest reflection of your life. Or perhaps, much like a kaleidoscope, reality is a mixture of all these different coloured perspectives.
But why is this even important I hear you cry…well I think it comes down to its impact on decisions and life choices. For example, how do you recognise when you’re having a ‘blue’ day and try to avoid making too many snap decisions on those days? Or how do you become aware you might be having a ‘green’ moment and should avoid booking holidays for the time being? In essence, I’m left wondering how you get to such a state of self-awareness that you know when you’re being realistic or when really you’re just being blue, green or yellow?
A prime area for me is often with my friends…sometimes I feel good about my relationships and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m inspired by how the least expected friends really come through for you and sometimes left disappointed by the way your closest don’t. I could easily make snap decisions at those points but then perhaps I need to consider that issues may be more down to my changeability than theirs?
For example, I had a thought the other day that perhaps I hadn’t been as good a friend as I should have been recently (not sure why but hey-hum!!) and that for once I could do something nice and tangible to show my nearest and dearest how much I appreciate them. A day later and I’m kind of regretting it as it’s not exactly been rushed to or received as I’d hoped… Which begs the question, did I perhaps jump too quickly during a blue moment (while ill) and do something that didn’t need to be done? Or am I experiencing a blue moment now in feeling a little dejected that my creative and well-meant gesture isn’t being snapped up? Either way having just written it down I’ve decided to forget it and move on…I’m making tomorrow my Rose-Tinted day 😉 But it illustrates my dilemma – when do you act on your perspectives and when do you have enough self-awareness to know you should probably wait a day or two til the colours change?!
And so, in true daydreamer blog style what are things I have come to learn through penning my quite random thoughts this time around? Well here you go: –
1. Be glad to live your life in colours and not in grey. Colour is what keeps the world vibrant and interesting…being able to experience and appreciate different perspectives is a good thing and having days where things feel ‘different’ to the last, well that’s just plain cool 🙂
2. You can adjust your kaleidoscope whenever you need – you’re not a slave to it. If you think you’re slipping into a ‘blue’ day when really you want to have a ‘rose-tinted’ day, well change your perspectives to suit your wants. The great thing about the kaleidoscope analogy is that it puts your hands at the control of the colours you see…so get twisting and see what happens!
3. Too much over-thinking hurts the brain. I’m well aware that many will look at this latest blog and feel that perhaps I’m over thinking things a teeny weeny bit…perhaps they’re right! There certainly are times where things can be over-thunk! Don’t hurt your brain – it’s far too precious 😉
4. Pause, take a breath and then make your decisions. I think by taking time to think about what shade of perspective you’re in, it allows you a second to consider everything before you make a decision…and that’s no bad thing! Snap decisions sometimes work out, but more often than not they don’t so if nothing else, always take a minute to consider whether you’re making the right choice…all things considered 🙂
I know I’m guilty of number 4 more than most, hence the need for a blog from time to time. But that said, I also take pride in thinking about and questioning things – to me it’s the sign of a healthy mind and a restless spirit 🙂
My kaleidoscope theory I know is a random one but I like to think that those who know me best would expect nothing less! I also know that those who matter will love me for all my colours, as I do them 🙂 And to those who don’t love it, well chuff off back to your world of black, white and grey – I’m busy playing in the paint pot of life 😉